Esoteria

Digitally Transforming Language, One Buzzword at a Time

Published Aug 15, 2018

Monday, July 30, 2018
6:32AM Local Time

Team,

I would like to drill down and double-click into the next-generation vision for the organization that will revolutionize disruption. I know that we are thought leaders when it comes to digital transformation, but what if we, instead, growth-hacked our way into becoming the Uber of languages? Whether that means programming languages, natural languages, or spoken languages, this team has set itself up to change the game.

You might be wondering, what’s the strategy to get us there? Where some may see no discernible strategy whatsoever, I see an opportunity. This is where you come in. With the synergy this team has and our skills at West Coast product management (and also East Coast product management), we can use data-driven agile methodologies to come up with a truly innovative approach. I know that last week we talked about ideating on the blockchain and how to engage our customers utilizing AI, so your bandwidth might be low. But if we’re laser-focused this quarter on just these two tasks (in addition to keeping the trains running), I know you can come out with a winning strategy to take us to the next level.

Fred, CEO
Uber of Languages

 

…………………..

 

Monday, July 30, 2018
9:26AM Local Time

What?

All the best,
Janie

Janie, Director of Product
Apps! + Apps!

 

…………………..

 

Tuesday, July 31, 2018
4:57AM Local Time

Team,

I got some feedback from folks that they were confused as to how to move forward after my last email. So let me see what I can do to clarify.

Over the next few months, let’s focus on building a digitally-native, future-facing MVP we can release to our customers. Let’s leverage our design thinking chops to come up with the now and the next. We have the big data to tell us where the puck is going, so let’s use machine learning to help us skate there.

I hope that clears up the requirements for you. As always, my door is open. Except when I am writing emails to the team. Then it’s closed because I really need to be heads-down so I can clearly articulate my thoughts.

I’ll be out the rest of the week connecting with other influencers in the industry to help make this vision possible. Hit me up on Slack, Gchat, text, or email if you have any questions.

Great work. You’re rockstars, ninjas, and gurus.

Fred, CEO
Uber of Languages

 

…………………..

 

Tuesday, July 31, 2018
11:43AM Local Time

Dear Fred,

Thank you for your words. The team and I will get right to work this quarter creating a plan as to how we might tackle the problem of languages. We completely agree that there is a huge need to help simplify language, particularly because so many people communicate via long-winded, buzzword-laden soliloquies. Thus, we see optimizations in this space as vital to the success of many users, businesses, and, frankly, the whole human race. This is a stellar market opportunity!

Spitballing here, but we think that we can bring back learnings from the educations we received in our past (even as far back as grade school!) to make educated decisions about how to change behavior. Uber of Languages will get at the heart of communication: words. Our product(s) will encourage people to use words and combinations of words that are clear and direct. Whether they are being spoken, typed, or acted out; whether they are used to communicate with a computer, a system, or a person; words will have meaning.

By providing humans with these tools, we will empower them to reduce ambiguity and seek clarity. Communication will never be the same again. Uber of Languages will not only solve these far-reaching human problems, it will teach people to utilize both verbal and non-verbal language to connect and share ideas. Uber of Languages will become part of the everyday.

Thanks!
Janie and team

Janie, Director of Product
Apps! + Apps!

Apps! + Apps! has now shut down as it spent eighteen months building unfocused software that didn’t solve any user problems. The product team, including Janie, all ended up finding new positions at other companies where they earned more money and realized that the longer they are in their careers, the more they will receive emails from leaders full of buzzwords.

Fred went on to found another company where after he pitched it as “the Snapchat of Music” he received $20m in backing from VCs. Janie decided to start an after-hours meetup called “Communication Without Buzzwords” where she invites sixth-grade English teachers to come in and remind attendees of the importance of clear, direct, plain-English communication.

All names have been changed to protect the guilty.

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